Healing Souls
by inday soraya
Summary: In the midst of vulnerability, will they destroy each other further or find an unexpected comfort instead? Dramione one shot! EWE.


Disclaimer: I only wish I wrote the epic story of Harry Potter. Alas, I am just a big fan of the Wizarding World and Dramione.

_Warning: This fic contains sexual and mature content. Read at your own discretion._

* * *

Draco Malfoy stood outside of the Three Broomsticks, holding a cigarette in his hand. The door opened and he instinctively turned his head to see who was leaving this early. But the person didn't leave. Hermione Granger stood five feet away, getting something out of her purse – a pack of cigarettes. She held it while still trying to rummage through the bag.

Noticing this, Draco offered his lighter wordlessly. Hermione finally looked at him and took it from him. She expertly lighted the cigarette already in her mouth with one hand while the other shielded it from the cold December wind. Hermione gave the lighter back, inhaled and closed her eyes.

"I thought you were a Healer, Granger," Draco said sceptically.

Hermione exhaled and looked at him through the smoke. He was leaning on the wall with his long legs crossed, one hand in his pocket.

"That doesn't really mean anything, Malfoy," she told him, turning back to look at the store across the pub. It had Christmas lights on.

"I just never pegged you for a smoker," he said as he took a drag from his cigarette.

"It doesn't concern you," she countered rather calmly.

Draco wasn't bothered. He had no right meddling in Hermione's business. So he shrugged and minded his own.

They were silent for a long while, the only sounds coming from the batch party inside. There were music and some shouting, clinking of glasses and laughing. That was the third Christmas party after Voldemort's defeat. And always, they had it at the Three Broomsticks where they were closest to Hogwarts, the one common place they all loved. Outside, the air is slightly fogged with the smoke from Draco and Hermione's cigarettes mingled with their breaths.

"Did you smoke when we were in school, too?" Draco said out of pure curiousness, breaking the silence yet again.

"God, no."

Draco seemed to understand and didn't ask any more. Because whatever reason Hermione Granger had for deciding to start smoking, it must have been heart breaking.

* * *

"Granger…" Draco rasped.

"Shh," Hermione shushed.

Draco, whose lips looked so blue, was brought to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries because of ingestion of an unknown potion.

"You'll be okay," Hermione found herself saying to Draco while he was being levitated by the nurse.

It was the last thing Draco heard before he lost consciousness.

* * *

Draco groaned as he sat up. He looked around realizing that he didn't know where he was. The walls were bare save for a picture of the ocean, quiet and still except for a few birds that flew in and out of the frame.

The door opened, revealing Hermione Granger holding a vial of purple potion and a bucket. She noticed him watching.

"Good, you're up," she said as she moved to place the vial on the bedside table.

"What happened," he said, feeling bile rising up to his throat.

"Here," she handed him the bucket and he took it. He immediately hunched over it, heaving.

"You were found unconscious by your house-elf in your room," she answered his earlier question.

Draco seemed to remember what happened and his face fell.

"Are you suicidal Malfoy–?"

"What are you saying Granger?" He sounded mad.

"–because if you are, I'll have to advise you to a Healer whose expertise lies in dealing with these things," she finished.

"I don't think it's up to you or anyone to tell me how to deal with this," he said evenly, looking at Hermione's eyes.

"I understand. It's just a standard question," she said. "Drink this." Hermione gave him the vial and he immediately complied and secretly thanked Hermione for not pushing it.

Draco stayed at the hospital for a week to recuperate and another week for "observation" before he was finally released.

* * *

"Aren't you going back in," Draco asked after a while. It was the second time Draco and Hermione found themselves outside the Three Broomsticks with only each other as company.

"No," she breathed followed by rings of smoke.

He suddenly straightened up.

"Well, do you want to get out of here?"

She looked at him and before she could start thinking and analyzing what this meant, she stopped herself.

"Yeah, sure."

They left together, only to end up at another bar, drinking with strangers instead. There weren't wild Christmas celebrations there. The place was filled with loneliness and broken souls. It was a place where people drank to the point of forgetting – an idea both of them very much welcomed.

"Cheers," Draco said, lacking the typical enthusiasm the word usually came with. His glass clinked with Hermione's before they both tipped their heads up, downing their drinks in one shot.

The bartender came in sight, bearing another set of drinks.

"Keep 'em coming Max," Draco said.

"You know this person," Hermione asked.

"I may have frequented this place once or twice," he said casually.

Hermione knew better. So she just nodded and drank another shot.

"What are you running from Granger?" Draco suddenly said after a couple of rounds of drinks.

She didn't normally answer such personal questions. But that night, she wasn't thinking straight given the buzzing in her head and the heat in her stomach. In fact, she had knowingly made stupid decisions since…

"The truth, I suppose."

"Ahh. A lot of people like to hide from that, don't they?" Draco said with a smirk before downing another shot.

"Tell me Malfoy. When you were brought in the hospital a few months ago… were you tired of running away yourself?" she said, thinking she was allowed to ask a personal question when she just answered one.

"Just to be c-lear here, I am not suicidal Granger," Draco said with words starting to slur, "Death has c-rossed my mind a cou-ple times. It just… seemed like a simple way to go, y'know."

"I don't blame you. I think… of ways to just stop it all. Even the good memories are not good enough. You can't think of them without having to remember that they're not… there anymore."

She tried to distract herself from the onslaught of tears that were threatening to come and drank another shot. Then another. When those weren't enough, she also grabbed Draco's.

"You're crying, Granger," Draco said, watching her drink everything Max brought and refilled.

Hermione didn't seem to hear him so he held her wrists and slowly brought them down.

"Granger," he repeated.

"I… I'm sorry," she said, finally realizing what she was doing and trying deliberately to wipe at her tears, "I shouldn't have unloaded on you when… I should leave."

She stood up, coat in arm. Draco watched as Hermione swayed while she walked to the general direction of the exit. He sighed, placed two galleons on the bar top and followed her.

"Don't be silly, Granger. You can't go home in that state," he said as he held her elbow to support her before Disapparating with her on the spot.

When their feet landed, Hermione almost lost balance. Good thing Draco was still holding her.

"Where did you br-ring me?" Hermione said sounding the least bit panicked at the prospect of being in the dark with a former Death Eater.

Draco turned the lights on with wandless magic and said, "We're in a guest room in the Manor. You can sleep here until you can Apparate without flinching yourself."

When Draco turned to face Hermione again, he wasn't expecting it to be so close. Her cheeks and neck were red from the alcohol. He must have held her closer when they Apparated in the room.

"Mal-foy," Granger said, her voice barely a whisper. He was so close and he smelled so good.

"Yes," Draco said just as softly, distracted by her lips which looked so inviting.

Before they knew it, they were kissing each other hungrily. Hermione was quick at unbuttoning Draco's shirt while he worked his way in getting rid of her top.

"I… don't think this is a good–," Hermione said as she felt Draco's tongue on her neck. "–idea," she finished with a sigh.

"Stop thinking Granger," he murmured before kissing her with more passion.

* * *

Draco felt for the bed beside him. When his hand met empty, wrinkled sheets, he opened his eyes to see Hermione's back to him. She was in his shirt. Against the moonlight, he could see smoke from the orange embers of her cigarette.

"Can't sleep?"

She exhaled.

"This isn't right," she said while she looked at the moon, thinking how she couldn't appreciate it. Nothing did anymore.

"Who said it was wrong," he said, starting to get annoyed by how she had always said that after a good shag.

"For me, it is! Sneaking behind Harry's and Ron's backs is just wrong," she said, facing him.

"Since when did you care about what the Golden Boy and Weasel say? You didn't stop smoking, did you?" he shouted as he sat up, "You're just mad at yourself because this just adds up to the things that go against your moral rules. Well, guess what Granger. You're far from the person you were in Hogwarts!"

She was silent for a moment. Then she stubbed her cigarette out using the ashtray on the bedside table, put on her lingerie and just picked up each of her clothing from the floor swiftly.

"Goodbye Malfoy," she said before Disapparating away.

* * *

Draco Malfoy was standing outside Hermione Granger's flat for the third time in two weeks. What he did was a mistake. Sure what he said to Hermione was true but confronting her with it wasn't a very wise thing to do. Albeit his looks, he couldn't just shag some stranger he just met at a pub. A distraction was what he needed from his miserable life. This – what he was doing at the moment – was another wrong idea. So he left without knocking.

That night, he got drunk at the same bar secretly hoping that Hermione would come. He passed out and she never came.

* * *

"It's so good to see you again dear. We haven't seen you in a long time," Molly Weasley said, beaming, as she handed Hermione a glass of lemonade. They sat outside the Burrow, watching Harry, Ron, George and Ginny play Quidditch.

Hermione Granger was supposed to feel happy, surrounded by the people who loved her. But every time she saw their smiling faces, she remembered her parents even more – how she would wake up to the smell of her mum's cooking or the sound of her father's loud comments on the unfortunate news on TV. And when she thought of them, she was always reminded that they weren't around to do those things anymore.

The truth was, what Draco Malfoy said was true. And she couldn't bear to think how she was wasting her life when she knew her parents would have wanted her to live it otherwise. But she wouldn't admit it, even to herself. So she stayed mad at Draco when all she thought of was how it would be so much better to spend a quiet afternoon with him.

* * *

The fourth time Draco Malfoy stood outside Hermione Granger's door, he finally got the courage to knock. Thinking a lot of other possibilities that could just happen, he started to leave when it opened.

"Malfoy? Are you leaving?" Hermione said, surprised.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. It never occurred to me that there might be someone else inside with you so…" Draco said, clearly unsure of himself.

Hermione was never admitting that she was glad it was him because if he wasn't coming by the end of the week, she was going to barge in the Mansion and Godric knew what else. She took him by the hand and pulled him inside.

"Granger, I…" Draco started to say.

"Stop talking and kiss me," she whispered to his lips.

Happy to oblige, Draco held both her legs while she wrapped them around his waist as he kissed her fervently. She returned the favor by playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

When they came together the first time that night, they didn't even make it to the bed.

* * *

_He was playing with his favorite toy, a dragon that breathed real fire, in his room when the small flame burned his finger. He cried and cried, calling for his mummy._

_"What's wrong, Draco?" the blond woman came hurriedly in._

_"Mummy! Mummy! I got an ouchie!" he cried and ran to his mother._

_"Oh poor Draco. Let Mummy make it all better for you, okay?" she said as she caressed him._

_Then he saw the toy dragon grew and transform into a floating dark figure, its head had slits for a nose._

_"You have failed me, Draco," the Dark Lord hissed._

_Draco was suddenly his 16 year old self. They were in the Drawing Room of the Manor. He and his mother were at their knees in front of the Dark Lord. He was begging and crying, "Please My Lord. Please spare my mother. Have mercy, please."_

_"Avada Kedavra!"_

_There was a blinding green light and..._

Draco sat up, sweating.

"Malfoy?"

It wasn't the first time this had happened. Over the months they were sleeping together, Draco had nightmares. She would always try to get him back to sleep. He would never talk about the dreams. And these were the only times they cuddled on the bed.

* * *

"Tell McLaggen you're not interested," he said to Hermione while she took her pants off.

"What are you saying Malfoy? It's not like I hate the guy. He's actually changed," she said moving to crawl over Draco who was sitting on the bed.

"That isn't enough for you to actually date him," he said as he also took off his shirt in one swift motion.

"But I might grow to like him," she said, biting his lower lip.

"I'm sure you won't."

She stopped in the middle of unhooking her bra and said, "You're ruining the mood Malfoy."

Hermione stood up, walked to her pants to find her pack of cigarettes in its pockets.

"For Christ's sakes, I'm telling you I love you Granger," he exclaimed, standing up.

She froze, the cigarettes forgotten.

"So stop pushing me away," Draco said more softly.

More silence.

"If I choose to love you, I could lose you," she finally said and turned to look at him, "I don't think I can recover from that."

He stepped closer, closer until he was only inches from her. He held her in both hands.

"Granger, I'm not going anywhere._ I_ need you more than you'll _ever_ need me."

She didn't tell him that he was the only one keeping her together. Instead, she kissed him tenderly and murmured, "Make love to me."

That night, they whispered each other's names as they made love with each other. In the silence, where only their moans and faint whimpers are the sounds, each slow thrust brought them closer.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! Did you like it? Tell me if it was too fast! I'm not so sure of the flow since no one else read it before I posted it. I would really appreciate constructive criticisms :) Also, tell me if you'd like an epilogue. ;)

You might also like my other WIP fic, _Knowing Draco Malfoy._


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